Why having super villains is part of the revolution

So now I suppose you are wondering who the hell we would fight as superheroes. Well, the list is too long to print anywhere, but I'm going to give it a shot. Aside from the obvious Beady Eyed Cheney and The Notorious GWB, there are several characters whom we would defend our fair cities from. These are every day folks that we have all met along the way. “Evil”, as some say, comes in every form.

This first form would be the form of past roommates. We’ve all had crummy roommates, but I’m willing to say that at least two of mine fall into the top 100 of crappiest roommates ever. These are the roommates who had no clue that they lived with other people or that other people would ever be offended by what they were doing. The reason they are considered supervillains is because they are clueless. I find that cluelessness and rudeness are the worst of sins which must be eradicated in order for the revolution to proceed. Of course, that’s wishful thinking. There will always be someone to piss you off.

Without further ado, here is the dynamic duo of Super Crappy Roommates:

The leader of the pack would be Super Hairy Nipples Man. Super Hairy Nipples Man’s uniform would be tighty whiteys and tube socks. No, he doesn’t have a shirt or shorts and yes, it offends me. His insidious power would be a total lack of consideration around him. Supplemental powers include, stealing cheese from the back of the fridge simply because you weren’t eating it, making disgusting soup in your nice Dutch oven and hiding his bong in the most obtrusive places. His weapons would be rotting pineapples, which he would leave in kitchen cupboards and rotting apples, which he would leave in the bathtub for days. He is easily defeated by shaving his nipple hair and stealing his bong. This could become problematic only if he is ever able to get those sprouts of power to blossom while hiding them in the dark.

Another arch rival would be The Insidious Scab. This rival’s uniform is comprised of leftovers from the Wal-Mart bargain bin, which his mother purchased for him. His main power would be to flake off bits of bloody skin wherever it struck his fancy. I think that would pretty much be it. That’s enough, believe me. He is also the kind of guy that moves in with you against your will and runs up the phone and electricity bill but refuses to pay because he is the boyfriend of someone who is living with you and is paying for part of his expenses. He never gets a clue. This is a mind-boggling power that is only overcome by a serious battle of the wills.

That’s about it for now. Look for more to come….