Snakes on a Car

I don't know what's in the gene pool in Naples, Florida, but I can guess that the first answer is "not enough chlorine". Check out this genius. Tom Waits says, "Never drive a car when you're dead." Well, he needs to alter it to say that you should never drive a car when you have a large snake wrapped around your neck. This usually goes without saying, but in the land of the south, anything can happen.

Speaking of how anything can happen, "Snakes on a Plane" with Samuel Jackson is going to be beefed up to be more greusome and have more snakes. Pretty neat. I still can't believe that this movie got made. All I have to do is hear the title and I giggle with idiotic MST3K glee. This movie was made for geeks like me that like to laugh at movies. I have not anticipated something nearly this much in years. The last time we were this excited about a quality piece of cheese was when "Broken Arrow" came out. I don't know what it was about the damn commericals for that movie, but they resonated deeply with my inner childhood geek and I laughed to tears every time I heard John Travolta say "Yeah, ain't it cool!" to kitschy 80's poser punk idol Christian "would you like whale sperm with that!" Slater. It is also the birthplace of the now famous line, "Please do not shoot at the thermonuclear weapons." Ok, so it's not famous, it's not even good, but Travolta chews the scenery with such perfect bliss that it makes it totally transcendent. It is certainly a movie experience I will never forget and one that did not disappoint, unlike the last three Star Wars flicks.

And finally, speaking of disappointment, I am still pissed off that "Crash" won best picture. I know, I know, who fucking cares? Well, it doesn't matter. But "Crash" sucks. The end. Even Syl Jones says how it was a "safe" choice for the academy and that it was a whitewashed version of what the situation in LA is really like. And it is. Damnit. Besides, Gay Cowboys trump a contrived wannabe epic about fake racism any day. I "heart" Ennis!!! Viva Brokeback!!!!

Potty Training Day

Plot Summary for
Potty Training Day (2006)

In a house where rooms are overrun by a diaper wearing loon, those who have sworn to uphold potty time are breaking the rules to get rid of diapers. Denzel Washington plays potty trainer Alonzo Harris, a veteran urination specialist whose methods of enforcing potty time are questionable, if not corrupt. 'Potty Training Day' follows Harris as he potty trains veteran baby Sophie Setchell (as herself) over a period 24 hours. Ethical dilemmas arise for Setchell as well as the audience as questions present themselves as to whether or not Harris' methodology for potty training babies in the homes of South Central Los Angeles are ethical.

I was doing some searching on Amazon and thought of the above title. I lifted the summary from IMDB and tweaked it...quite a bit. Ok, now that that's over. Call me crazy, but we have started the potty process in my house. Sophie hates diaper changes and it's just a general pain when she continues to flip over on the changing table as I try to put on a clean nappie. She will sit on her potty for quite a while and with some success, so I think she can get it. Anyway, I have a book coming from the library, we'll see if it helps. Here is a picture of her lounging around waiting for Godot in her Jack and Sally dress:



In other news, I've been on break all week. No rehearsal. No class. It's great. I'm not feeling particularly rested, but I am feeling more sane and that's worth something. It's nice to be away from the pressures of squirrely children and perfectionist dancers. There's a reason that my overall goal for any production/class is to not kill anyone. I have met this goal so far every time I've taught a class or been in a production. Pat, pat, pat on the back. At least I have low standards.

I had a bunch of other clever things I was going to write about, but I have forgotten them all. So, blast away Anonymous. Whereas you have too much to write about, I just don't have enough. I think the little potty trainer has sucked all creativity and life out of me when it comes to writing. I also think a general feeling of sanity and integration has caused me to not have much to write about. Tortured feelings and teenage musings make for great writing. Settling down with a great husband and amazing baby in a comfortable house in a quaint town make for lame blogs.